Guide · Akihabara

Japanese Dining Etiquette: Chopsticks, Slurping, and Eating in Public — Explained by a Japanese Teacher in Tokyo

The rules that actually matter are short: do not stand your chopsticks upright in rice and do not pass food from chopsticks to chopsticks, because both echo funeral rites. Slurping noodles is fine. Say itadakimasu before you eat. Do not tip. Eating while walking is legal but reads as slightly unmannered in most of Tokyo. Everything else is detail.

I teach Japanese, and food vocabulary is where almost every student starts, because eating is the interaction you cannot avoid. Here is what I tell my students before their first trip — including the parts where the internet has scared them about something that nobody here actually minds.

Which chopstick rules really matter?

Two are genuine taboos with a reason behind them: standing chopsticks upright in a bowl of rice, and passing food directly from your chopsticks to someone else's. Both mirror Japanese funeral customs — rice with upright chopsticks is offered to the dead, and bones are passed between chopsticks after a cremation. Doing either at a dinner table lands the way a coffin joke would.

The rest are ordinary table manners, the same category as not waving your fork around:

• Do not spear food with a chopstick like a skewer.
• Do not wave or point with them, or use them to drag a dish closer.
• Do not dig through a shared plate looking for the piece you want.
• Rest them on the holder or across your bowl between bites, not sticking out of the food.
• Do not rub disposable chopsticks together. It implies you think they are cheap and splintery. Almost nobody actually minds, but you will look like you learned it from a film.

If you cannot use chopsticks well, that is completely fine and not a moral failing. Ask for a fork — fōku onegaishimasu — and most places will produce one. Family restaurants and tourist areas have them as standard.

Is slurping really OK?

Yes, for noodles. Slurping ramen, soba and udon is normal, it cools the noodles as they enter your mouth, and it is not considered rude in a noodle shop. It is not a requirement, though — you will not offend anyone by eating quietly, and you do not need to perform it.

What is not part of the deal: slurping soup from a spoon, chewing loudly with your mouth open, or making noise over a plate of curry. The tolerance is specific to noodles in broth.

Related: hold small rice and soup bowls up in your hand near your mouth rather than leaning your face down to the table. Bowls are designed to be lifted. Large plates stay on the table.

What do I say before and after eating?

Say itadakimasu (ee-tah-dah-kee-mahs) before you start and gochisōsama deshita (go-chee-soh-sah-mah desh-tah) when you finish. The first roughly means "I gratefully receive"; the second thanks whoever fed you. Both are said quietly, to the table rather than announced to the room.

They are not religious and not formal. Children say them, salarymen say them, and saying gochisōsama to the staff on your way out of a small restaurant is one of the fastest ways to make a good impression in this country. It costs nothing and it is genuinely appreciated.

How does a Japanese restaurant work?

Wait at the entrance to be seated rather than choosing a table yourself. You will usually be given a wet towel (oshibori) for your hands, not your face. Many places use a call button or a ticket machine instead of flagging staff down. You pay at the register on the way out, not at the table, and you do not tip.

The mechanics, in order:

1. At the door, hold up fingers for your party size, or say futari desu (two people). Staff will seat you.
2. The oshibori is for hands. Wiping your face with it is a thing older men do and nobody else.
3. Ordering. If there is a button on the table, press it. If there is a tablet, use it. If neither, a clear sumimasen across the room is the correct volume in a casual restaurant — this is one of the few places where calling out is normal.
4. Ticket machines. Many ramen and rice-bowl shops have a vending machine by the door: buy a ticket, sit down, hand the ticket over. Buy first, then sit.
5. Paying. Take the slip from your table to the register. Put your money on the tray. See why there is no tipping in Japan.

Nobody will rush you out, and nobody will bring the bill to hurry you along — but in a small counter restaurant with a queue outside, finishing and leaving is the courteous read.

Can you eat while walking?

It is not illegal and nobody will stop you, but in most of Tokyo eating while walking reads as slightly unmannered. The usual pattern is to eat where you bought the food — next to the stall, on a bench, or in a designated eating space. Festival streets and dedicated street-food areas are the obvious exception.

There is a practical reason as well as a social one: there are almost no public bins, so a snack eaten on the move produces rubbish you will then carry for hours. See why Japan has no bins.

Many stalls in food streets, including in Asakusa and around older shopping districts, now ask customers directly not to walk away with the food, sometimes with signs in English. That is a request from the neighbourhood, not a national law, and it is worth honouring.

The drinking table

If you are drinking with Japanese people, pour for others rather than for yourself, and let someone pour for you. Wait for the first kanpai before drinking. Holding your glass slightly lower than a senior person's when you clink is a nice touch that nobody will demand of a visitor.

If you do not drink alcohol, that is completely acceptable — order oolong tea or a soft drink and join the toast with it. The toast is about the group, not the contents of the glass.

Frequently asked questions

Is it rude to leave food on the plate? Finishing your food, especially rice, is the polite default and wasting food is taken seriously. If you cannot finish, nobody will confront you, but leaving a full bowl untouched at a small owner-run restaurant will register. Order less rather than leaving more — many places let you specify a smaller rice portion.

Do I need to use chopsticks for everything? No. Curry, omelette rice and many Western-influenced dishes come with a spoon. Sushi may be eaten with fingers — that is traditional, not a shortcut.

Can I ask for changes to a dish? Sometimes. Removing an ingredient is often possible in casual restaurants and often not in specialist ones, where the dish is the chef's fixed composition. Ask politely and accept the answer. Allergies are worth writing down in Japanese before your trip.

Is it OK to share dishes? Yes, sharing is normal in izakaya and many casual restaurants. Use the serving chopsticks if they are provided, or the back ends of your own, and move food to your own small plate rather than eating over the shared dish.

Should I tip a great server? No — see the tipping guide. Say gochisōsama deshita, tell them the food was delicious (oishikatta desu), and leave a review. That is the local currency of appreciation.

Do it once with a teacher at the table

Reading this is one thing; ordering from a ticket machine while three people wait behind you is another. My Tokyo First Day Tour: Japanese Manners & Survival Class puts you through a real meal on your first or second morning in Japan — ordering, chopsticks, the phrases, and paying at the register — so the awkward first attempt happens with someone next to you rather than alone on day four.

The full map of everything else: Japanese etiquette: a complete guide for first-time visitors.

About the author. I am Yuuki, a Japanese teacher and Akihabara tour guide in Tokyo. I run small-group tours in English most weeks, rated 4.96★ on Airbnb, and I have watched over 1,500 anime series — which is how most of my guests find me. I have also watched a lot of first meals go sideways at the ticket machine.

See the Akihabara anime tour →

Sources: Japan National Tourism Organization, Japanese Food Etiquette Guide; Japan National Tourism Organization, Japanese Manners Do's and Don'ts.